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I Have a Crush At School but Don't Know What To Do

Discussion in 'Offtopic' started by C.L., Jan 9, 2019.

  1. LivingSpirit

    LivingSpirit Newcomer

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    Somebody said this was really reflective of being an incel, but to me it just looks like you're younger and have never been put in this situation before. I'm gonna say first things first, you're not going to go much further if everything you know is from "research" on body language and what little things they do that *might* mean she's attracted to you.

    If you're trying to get up in that shit, you have to actually be apart of it and not just wallflower it. You'll never learn social situations from a book (but like if that is the case, then you're in some anti-social/you might be a robot shit).

    Trying starting with a classic "What do you do?" to get her attention. If it catches her ear, she might be confused at the questions, but like, ask again. "What do you do?" People like to talk about themselves and her sharing information about herself to you creates a connection.
     
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  2. C.L.

    C.L. Active Member

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    Yeah, I've only had 2 girlfriends in my lifetime so I haven't had this experience before... What if she already has a boyfriend? That's gonna be very hard for me to let go and move on, especially if I sit next to her every 5th period. If my crush has a boyfriend already, that would be...crushing.

    In my class, all the computers have access to a shared drive where we store and save our work under class period/name. I just found that someone left a folder under my name titled "I LIKE YOU FROM ME." I'm hoping that my crush was the one who left it, but there's no way of knowing for sure. Today in class, her friend switched seats with my crush because she(her friend) found out I that I that I like her, and tried to persuade me to tell her so, but I said "but I'll be a nervous wreck telling her that." So when I noticed that folder under my name, I asked her to ask my crush if she left that folder there. She said "No, I have a boyfriend."

    I felt devastated when I heard that, but I remembered how she doesn't go around in the hallways holding a guy's hand in between classes, how she eats lunch by herself or with her girl friend. She's not showing signs of having a boyfriend, so I think(hopefully) she lied to get me jealous or play hard to get. Later today, after 6th period, one of my 7th period classmates brought me to her in the hallway(where she had no boyfriend, BTW), and when he asked her to tell me what she told him about me, she got shy and said nothing. I think she was blushing, but couldn't really tell in that ill-lit hallway.

    Remember when I said that 2 guys told me that she admitted to liking me? This guy was one of those 2 guys. Earlier this week, she told him that she likes me, but when I was there in front of her with him, he couldn't get a single word out of her!

    Next week I will straight up confess to her that I like her, and hopefully that will break down her wall of shyness.
     
  3. Teywer

    Teywer Well-Known Member

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    Remember, some people will have relationships from outside school. Maybe she went to a summer camp or some other extracurricular activity and met someone there.
     
  4. C.L.

    C.L. Active Member

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    :( *Sigh* Then if she does have a boyfriend, I'm screwed. Sure, there are "plenty of fish in the sea," but once you dwindle it down, they are not all compatible, and there isn't another girl quite like her. What am I going to do?
     
  5. Teywer

    Teywer Well-Known Member

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    Just wait. Its what ive done. Entering university this year for a 5 year study, which will hopefully give me time to find someone. If not, then be a hermit.

    Honestly, every person I know who had had a long term relationship in highschool has found that they actually didnt really enjoy each others company for long periods. Better to wait and form a better more stable relationship than to rush forward into something that will most likely hurt both parties involved.



    Disclaimer: I am not the person to ask for relationship advice, I spent 5 years hoping a girl I knew would say something, and last year she pretty much just stopped talking to me. That pretty much ruined the end of HS for me, especially as she got a boyfriend.
     
  6. C.L.

    C.L. Active Member

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    Thanks for the disclaimer, but since you're online it seems like you're the only presence I can talk to right now. I don't have another school year with her since I'll be in another school next year. Maybe when I forge a frienship with her, she might come over and visit? I could only hope...

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Teywer

    Teywer Well-Known Member

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    Just find someone else. She is obviously not interested. Despite what you may think, there are other people out there, and they will be as good or better than her. Im sure that if you had to spend 1 year in the same house as her you would realise that she isnt the perfect person.
     
  8. LivingSpirit

    LivingSpirit Newcomer

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    But then if she does have a boyfriend, it's not your decision for her to end it; however, it is your decision to make your moves elsewhere. If you choose to hold onto somebody that has a boyfriend (and they're doing good together) then you're missing out on all the other things to do/people to see.

    From the way you put it, I couldn't tell you whether or not she actually does like you. It looks like it's something you're going to have to make action on yourself. If her friend switched her spots and also said that she likes you, then it looks like you're in the clear. If you've got Facebook or a phone, ask her for her number in person or if you could shoot her a friend request on FB. If she says no, then you shouldn't dwell on it. You're young man. It's not a problem to hope you get the chance, but it is a problem to obsess over it.
     
  9. C.L.

    C.L. Active Member

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    It is very likely that she's too shy to admit that she likes me and uses the boyfriend thing as a cover-up. On her facebook, there are no pictures of her with her boyfriend and her relationship status is single.:confused: The only way for me to find out for sure is to ask her myself and if she does have a boyfriend, I'll ask her if she's happy in her relationship. If she isn't, she'll likely dump him soon and I'll be in the clear. Right now, the boyfriend thing is pure speculation(who knows, it might just be a cover-up to keep from admitting to liking me, she's a shy girl), so I might have a chance.;)

    Yeah, it's hard to tell whether or not a shy girl likes you. She might like me but just doesn't want me to know yet. That complicates things. You're right that I shouldn't obsess over it, I should tell her how I feel. Perhaps if I tell her how I feel, she'll open up to me instead of being shy around me.

    Cave Johnson once said, "Science isn't about why, it's about why not." So why not I at least tell this girl I like her and ask her if she has a boyfriend before I just leave her based on speculation?
     
    #29 C.L., Jan 12, 2019 at 2:54 PM
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2019 at 3:00 PM
  10. Obewan001

    Obewan001 Towny Nerd
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    My only advice is to lay it all on the line and don't fear rejection if its meant to be shit'll go well, if not you saved yourself a lot of time which you can then use for other interests or women.
     
  11. GetintheVan

    Staff Member Sr. Mod

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    Turn homosexual
     
  12. MBR5000

    MBR5000 Popular Member

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    You say you have classes together, if you are to shy you ask her out, you can ask her if she would like to do homework together. This would be good because if you don't have any ideas for a conversation, it won't be as awkward because you can ask question and still get to know her a bit. And don't worry about it too much, worst case she says no and you go on with life.
     
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  13. C.L.

    C.L. Active Member

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    If I could thumbs down your comment, I would.
    I didn't say I have classes(plural) with her, I have one class with her. In my school, we don't really have homework. They don't give us homework unless we haven't finished something in class... There is a class where most people haven't done the "tic-tac-toe" paper. Maybe I should ask her if she needs help with that. I have asked her if she plays Star Trek: Online or Minecraft(she doesn't, BTW), but beyond that, I haven't really asked her about herself. Thanks. ;)
     
    #33 C.L., Jan 12, 2019 at 3:34 PM
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2019 at 4:09 PM
  14. JustTrash

    JustTrash Renowned Member

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    invite her to minecraft (minesuperior)
    make a love island on skyblock
    get the manager to help you
    live happily after
     
  15. TheWildSkeever

    TheWildSkeever Well-Known Member

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  16. C.L.

    C.L. Active Member

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    If you read my previous post, she doesn't play minecraft! *sadface*
     
  17. MBR5000

    MBR5000 Popular Member

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    You could ask her to do a project together then or help her with a subject that she struggles with. If you really dont have any homework or anything that you could do, you could ask her to go bowling or skating. Its two fun activities that I find are good to get to know someone, depending where you life you might not be able to skate though, even if you arent great at it, it can still be fun.

    Also take your balls in hand and just ask her.
     
  18. TheShadowedCloak

    TheShadowedCloak Newcomer

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    Just tell her/him.
     
  19. C.L.

    C.L. Active Member

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    There's only one problem with that going out thing: I live with a somewhat shitty dad who I wouldn't really want him to know if I had a crush at school because I don't trust him (he went as far as to fish that information out of me by suggesting I'm gay so I'd tell him what girl I like, he lost my trust there), annd, I can't drive because no license yet. I can't bring her around myself. So I got a little isolation outside of school kind of issue. Anything I could do with her would be in school. Until I move in with mom, I wouldn't feel safe having her visiting with my dad around, he's a manipulative creep.
    That's exactly what I intend to do when I get back to school when the weekend is over with. I plan to catch her in the hallway after 6th period and be like: "Hey, I wanna tell you something real quick. I like you... Kbye!"
     
  20. mark2397

    mark2397 Newcomer

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    U gotta hit it bro